Monday, August 31, 2009
Some light jokes ( Funny jokes )
Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
~~~~~~
A drunkard was brought to court.
Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."
~~~~~~~
Customer :Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter :Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.
~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter:Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer:No, I can't.
Waiter:Then does it really matter?
~~~~~~
Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, shouting,
"Daddy!Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy.
"Come in to the living room and tell me about it."
"Well, "began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math's and 20 in science."
~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter:Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.
~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter:That' s all right sir, he won't drink much.
~~~~~~
Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
~~~~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter: So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
~~~~~~~
Customer :Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter :I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.
~~~~~~~
1st thief :Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief:But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief :Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.
~~~~~~~~
Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born.
~~~~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter: Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?
~~~~~~~
Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.
~~~~~~~
An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
'How long has what been going on?' said the man.
~~~~~~~
Girl : Do you love me?
Boy:Yes Dear.
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy :No, mine is undying love.
~~~~~~~~
There was a brilliant student and his General Knowledge (*GK*) was excellent.
He won every GK Quiz he took part in ....
Then one day he fell in love with a girl...
He proposed the girl, but she flatly rejected him The poor Indian fellow was heart-broken. .
Strangely, after this episode, he became very weak at GK, he stopped taking part in GK Quizzes.....
Now, can u tell WHY ???
Jab Dil Hi Toot Gaya Toh GK Kya Karenge!!
~~~~~~~~
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband:Sure, what are my choices?
Wife :Yes and no.
~~~~~~~
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Bobby's Letter To The God.
Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.
His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.
Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.
Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker.
He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.
Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday.
Little Bobby, of course, thought he did.
Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year.
Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year.
Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday.
Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.
************ **
Letter 1
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday.
I want a red one.
Your friend,
Bobby
************ **
Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year,
So he tore up the letter and started over.
************ **
Letter 2
Dear God,
This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I would like
A red bike for my birthday. Thank you.
Your friend,
Bobby
************ **
Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and started again.
************ **
Letter 3
Dear God,
I have been an OK boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday.
Bobby
************ **
Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote a fourth letter.
************ **
Letter 4
God,
I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry.
I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday.
Please! Thank you,
Bobby
************ **
Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike.
Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to church.
Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad.
Just be home in time for dinner, Bobby's mother told him.
Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner.
Little Bobby went into the church and up to the altar.
He looked around to see if anyone was there.
Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary.
He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room.
He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen.
Bobby began to write his letter to God.
************ **
Letter 5
God,
I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE!!!!!!
************ **
His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.
Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.
Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker.
He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.
Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday.
Little Bobby, of course, thought he did.
Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year.
Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year.
Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday.
Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.
************ **
Letter 1
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday.
I want a red one.
Your friend,
Bobby
************ **
Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year,
So he tore up the letter and started over.
************ **
Letter 2
Dear God,
This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I would like
A red bike for my birthday. Thank you.
Your friend,
Bobby
************ **
Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and started again.
************ **
Letter 3
Dear God,
I have been an OK boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday.
Bobby
************ **
Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote a fourth letter.
************ **
Letter 4
God,
I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry.
I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday.
Please! Thank you,
Bobby
************ **
Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike.
Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to church.
Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad.
Just be home in time for dinner, Bobby's mother told him.
Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner.
Little Bobby went into the church and up to the altar.
He looked around to see if anyone was there.
Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary.
He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room.
He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen.
Bobby began to write his letter to God.
************ **
Letter 5
God,
I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE!!!!!!
************ **
Friday, August 28, 2009
A different Love letter and a beautiful reply to it.
A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate.
My Dearest Reshma ,
Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options
(A) 10 marks,
(b) 5marks and
(c) 3 marks.
**********
1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me because:
(a) of love
(b) you couldn't control seeing me
(c) really ... Am I doing it?
**********
2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because:
(a) you always like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you are attracted by my smile
**********
3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you stopped singing because:
(a) you are so coy to sing before me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared that whether I'll like your song
**********
4) When you were showing your childhood photo, when I asked for it, you hide it because:
(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy
(c) you don't know
**********
5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and you took only my friend's because:
(a) you enjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) you don't know
**********
6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus...
(a) you were waiting for me
(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus
(c) that bus was crowded
**********
7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because:
(a) I am going to be your groom
(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me
(c) just you felt like introducing me to them
**********
8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a rose on your head because:
(a) to fulfill my wish
(b) you like roses
(c) by chance you got a rose
**********
9) On that day, it was my birthday. You too came to temple early at 6:00 A.M because:
(a) you want to pray along with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday
(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual.
**********
If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don't delay in expressing it.
If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart and it's getting ready to bloom. If you have scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not.
Eagerly awaiting your reply..
Love, Aakash
************ *********
Reshma's reply letter was also in Q/A format ........
Aakash ,
Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.
A different Love letter and a beautiful reply to it.
A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate.
My Dearest Reshma ,
Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options
(A) 10 marks,
(b) 5marks and
(c) 3 marks.
**********
1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me because:
(a) of love
(b) you couldn't control seeing me
(c) really ... Am I doing it?
**********
2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because:
(a) you always like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you are attracted by my smile
**********
3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you stopped singing because:
(a) you are so coy to sing before me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared that whether I'll like your song
**********
4) When you were showing your childhood photo, when I asked for it, you hide it because:
(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy
(c) you don't know
**********
5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and you took only my friend's because:
(a) you enjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) you don't know
**********
6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus...
(a) you were waiting for me
(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus
(c) that bus was crowded
**********
7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because:
(a) I am going to be your groom
(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me
(c) just you felt like introducing me to them
**********
8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a rose on your head because:
(a) to fulfill my wish
(b) you like roses
(c) by chance you got a rose
**********
9) On that day, it was my birthday. You too came to temple early at 6:00 A.M because:
(a) you want to pray along with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday
(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual.
**********
If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don't delay in expressing it.
If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart and it's getting ready to bloom. If you have scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not.
Eagerly awaiting your reply..
Love, Aakash
************ *********
Reshma's reply letter was also in Q/A format ........
Aakash ,
Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.
**********
1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the class, sees them.
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
2) If a girl laughs and looks anyone, is it love?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she stop singing or not?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my childhood photo.
You poked your nose inside..... Right ?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking. Couldn't you understand yet?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
6) Should I not wait for my best friend (Anjali ) at the bus stand?
(a)Yes (b) No
**********
7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana's flower. Is it true ?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I could see you in temple. I come daily to Temple . Do you know ?
(a) Yes (b) No
If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question, then I am not loving you. If you have answered "No", then you don't know the meaning of Love.
Hope everything is clear to you .
My Dearest Reshma ,
Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options
(A) 10 marks,
(b) 5marks and
(c) 3 marks.
**********
1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me because:
(a) of love
(b) you couldn't control seeing me
(c) really ... Am I doing it?
**********
2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because:
(a) you always like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you are attracted by my smile
**********
3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you stopped singing because:
(a) you are so coy to sing before me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared that whether I'll like your song
**********
4) When you were showing your childhood photo, when I asked for it, you hide it because:
(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy
(c) you don't know
**********
5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and you took only my friend's because:
(a) you enjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) you don't know
**********
6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus...
(a) you were waiting for me
(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus
(c) that bus was crowded
**********
7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because:
(a) I am going to be your groom
(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me
(c) just you felt like introducing me to them
**********
8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a rose on your head because:
(a) to fulfill my wish
(b) you like roses
(c) by chance you got a rose
**********
9) On that day, it was my birthday. You too came to temple early at 6:00 A.M because:
(a) you want to pray along with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday
(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual.
**********
If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don't delay in expressing it.
If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart and it's getting ready to bloom. If you have scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not.
Eagerly awaiting your reply..
Love, Aakash
************ *********
Reshma's reply letter was also in Q/A format ........
Aakash ,
Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.
A different Love letter and a beautiful reply to it.
A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate.
My Dearest Reshma ,
Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options
(A) 10 marks,
(b) 5marks and
(c) 3 marks.
**********
1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me because:
(a) of love
(b) you couldn't control seeing me
(c) really ... Am I doing it?
**********
2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because:
(a) you always like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you are attracted by my smile
**********
3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you stopped singing because:
(a) you are so coy to sing before me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared that whether I'll like your song
**********
4) When you were showing your childhood photo, when I asked for it, you hide it because:
(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy
(c) you don't know
**********
5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and you took only my friend's because:
(a) you enjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) you don't know
**********
6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus...
(a) you were waiting for me
(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus
(c) that bus was crowded
**********
7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because:
(a) I am going to be your groom
(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me
(c) just you felt like introducing me to them
**********
8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a rose on your head because:
(a) to fulfill my wish
(b) you like roses
(c) by chance you got a rose
**********
9) On that day, it was my birthday. You too came to temple early at 6:00 A.M because:
(a) you want to pray along with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday
(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual.
**********
If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don't delay in expressing it.
If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart and it's getting ready to bloom. If you have scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not.
Eagerly awaiting your reply..
Love, Aakash
************ *********
Reshma's reply letter was also in Q/A format ........
Aakash ,
Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.
**********
1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the class, sees them.
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
2) If a girl laughs and looks anyone, is it love?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she stop singing or not?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my childhood photo.
You poked your nose inside..... Right ?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking. Couldn't you understand yet?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
6) Should I not wait for my best friend (Anjali ) at the bus stand?
(a)Yes (b) No
**********
7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana's flower. Is it true ?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I could see you in temple. I come daily to Temple . Do you know ?
(a) Yes (b) No
If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question, then I am not loving you. If you have answered "No", then you don't know the meaning of Love.
Hope everything is clear to you .
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