Fishing

Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.


There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph.

I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day.


I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.

There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."


She sleepily replied,

"Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that s#!t."

ரயில் பெட்டி

சர்தார்ஜி ஒருத்தர் நாளேடு ஆசிரியரா வேலை செஞ்சிகிட்டு இருக்கார

ஒரு முறை, ரயில்வே துறையில் என்னென்ன மேம்பாடுகள் செய்யலாம்

என்கிற தலைப்புல ஆலோசனைகள் சொல்றதுக்காக, ரயில்ல மும்பை

போயிட்டிருக்காரு.

அவரோட பெட்டி ரயில் வண்டியின் கடைசிப் பெட்டி. கடைசிப்

பெட்டிங்கிறதுனால ஆட்டம் ரொம்ப அதிகமா இருக்குது

அதோட தூக்கி தூக்கி போடுது. ரொம்ப கடுப்பாகிப் போன சர்தார்ஜி

மும்பை போனதும் ரயில்வே துறையினருக்கு கொடுத்த

ஒரே ஆலோசனை

“எந்த ஒரு ரயில் வண்டியிலேயும் கடைசி பெட்டியே இருக்கக் கூடாது”

கல்யாணத்தை பத்து நாள்லே முடிச்சுடணும்னு சொல்றீங்களே,

மாப்பிள்ளைக்கு அவ்வளவுதான் லீவு கிடைச்சுதா?

இல்லே. . .அவ்வளவு நாள்தான் ஜாமீன்ல இருக்கமுடியும்!


காதலி; எனக்கு ஒரு சத்தியம் செஞ்சு கொடுக்கணும்!

காதலன்; என்ன?

காதலி; என்னோட கல்யாணத்துக்கு கண்டிப்பா வருவீங்கன்னு!


ஜெயிலுக்குப் போயும் நம்ம தலைவருக்கு புத்தி வரலை!

எப்படி சொல்றே?

ஜெயில்ல இருந்த காலி கிரவுண்டை வளைச்சுப் போட்டுட்டாராம்!


மனைவி: ஏங்க உங்க நண்பர்கிட்ட பொண்ணு நல்லாருக்குன்னு பொய் சொன்னீங்க?

கணவன்: எனக்கு பொண்ணுபார்க்கும்போது மட்டும் உண்மையாச் சொன்னான்!!

Letter to his son

Udurawana was writting something verey slowly.
A friend came and asked.
"Why are you writing so slowly?"
Udurawana replies;
"Im writing to my 6 years old son... he can't read very fast"

Press

On a political rally udurawana was arrested.
Why?

A woman journalist was walking with the word"PRESS"On it and he did it......

LITTLE JOHNNY: A DROP IN THE BUCKET

One day, Little Johnny's grandmother sent him to the water

Hole to get some water for cooking dinner.


As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and ran back to grandma's house as fast as he could.


"Where's my bucket and my water?" She asked.



"I can't get any water from that water hole, there's a mean ol' alligator down there!"


"Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been there for years,

And he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!"


"Well, Grandma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!"

Score Board ( 18+ Only Joke )

A couple has a male friend who's visiting from out-of-state, when an unexpected blizzard blows in, and keeps him from traveling.


Since the couple has no guest room, he states his intention to find a nearby hotel, and be on his way in the morning.


"Nonsense," says the wife. "Our bed is plenty big enough for all three of us, and we're all friends here."


The husband concurs, and before long they're settled in: husband in the middle, wife on his left, friend on his right.


After a while, the husband begins snoring, and the wife sneaks over to the friend's side of the bed, and invites him to have sex with her.


Naturally, he'd like to, but he's reluctant.


"We're in the same bed with your husband! He'll wake up, and he'll kill me."


"Don't worry about it," she says, "he's such a sound sleeper, he'll never notice. If you don't believe me, just yank a hair off of his butt. He won't even wake up."


So the friend yanks a hair off the husband's anus, and sure enough, she's right.


Her husband sleeps right through having a hair yanked out of his butt.


So, she and the friend have sex, and then she goes back to her side of the bed.


After about twenty minutes, though, she's back on his side of the bed, asking him to do it again.


The same argument follows, another hair is yanked from the husband's corn hole, and again they have sex.


This keeps up for about half the night, until after about the sixth time, when the wife goes back to her side.


Then the husband rolls over, and whispers to his friend, "I don't mind that you're shagging my wife, but do you really have to use my butthole as your scoreboard?"